PEGI EYERS
I am sick and tired of the brothers, husbands, partners and fathers who are only too willing to speak up for the injustices they see in the wider society, but never lift a finger to resolve the conflicts in their own families~! Letting the women in the family handle all the emotional labour, is the position of a coward.
If you are terrified of confrontation that much, well here is a newsflash for you - conflict and differences of opinion are a *fact of life* and need to be faced bravely and resolved (in one way or another). Men have the persona of being strong and capable, but I would argue that the reverse is also true. Spending your 70-odd years on the planet not once trying to resolve conflict is rather despicable, when you think about it. As if women, who have been oppressed for 6000+ years, are also expected to be, at all times, the only adults in the room. What nonsense~!
Here is a list of suggested initiatives for the brothers, husbands, partners and fathers in your life, or heaven forbid, for the men that see themselves in this (shocking!) expose:
If you are terrified of confrontation that much, well here is a newsflash for you - conflict and differences of opinion are a *fact of life* and need to be faced bravely and resolved (in one way or another). Men have the persona of being strong and capable, but I would argue that the reverse is also true. Spending your 70-odd years on the planet not once trying to resolve conflict is rather despicable, when you think about it. As if women, who have been oppressed for 6000+ years, are also expected to be, at all times, the only adults in the room. What nonsense~!
Here is a list of suggested initiatives for the brothers, husbands, partners and fathers in your life, or heaven forbid, for the men that see themselves in this (shocking!) expose:
- identify your emotions,
- understand that emotions are natural, are supposed to be experienced, and the more dramatic emotions will pass,
- learn that the bedrock of your being can handle the rise and fall of your emotions, no problem,
- learn that every being has an emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual aspect, and humans are constantly weaving between all four,
- learn to regulate your emotions,
- learn how to hold the tension between fully feeling the emotion, and then releasing the energy of that emotion,
- learn that "conflict is not abuse" (google[!] and read the book of the same name)
- learn what causes CPTSD and PTSD, how it is embedded in every feature of modern society, and how it manifests in you and your sisters, wives, partners and children,
- don't just read Gabor Mate's book, start living by the healing principles he talks about,
- learn what stresses in life women face like sexual assault and rape, and how the damage may continue to manifest,
- be willing to speak openly about the stresses in life women face like sexual assault and rape, and start educating your fellow men on these issues and traumas,
- familiarize yourself with narcissism, and be able to identify it when it appears in yourself and others,
- be willing to take responsibility when you see abuse being directed toward your sister, wife, partner or child, and intervene in meaningful, productive and healing ways (for f-sake),
- understand toxic masculinity, and the backstory that has led to this phenomenon,
- understand that you don't get to sit smugly on the sidelines while the women in your family sort through all the differences of opinion and conflict,
- understand that your silence means you are complicit with women being traumatized by other women, by relatives, by other people in their lives, and by the wider society.
- understand that emotions are natural, are supposed to be experienced, and the more dramatic emotions will pass,
- learn that the bedrock of your being can handle the rise and fall of your emotions, no problem,
- learn that every being has an emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual aspect, and humans are constantly weaving between all four,
- learn to regulate your emotions,
- learn how to hold the tension between fully feeling the emotion, and then releasing the energy of that emotion,
- learn that "conflict is not abuse" (google[!] and read the book of the same name)
- learn what causes CPTSD and PTSD, how it is embedded in every feature of modern society, and how it manifests in you and your sisters, wives, partners and children,
- don't just read Gabor Mate's book, start living by the healing principles he talks about,
- learn what stresses in life women face like sexual assault and rape, and how the damage may continue to manifest,
- be willing to speak openly about the stresses in life women face like sexual assault and rape, and start educating your fellow men on these issues and traumas,
- familiarize yourself with narcissism, and be able to identify it when it appears in yourself and others,
- be willing to take responsibility when you see abuse being directed toward your sister, wife, partner or child, and intervene in meaningful, productive and healing ways (for f-sake),
- understand toxic masculinity, and the backstory that has led to this phenomenon,
- understand that you don't get to sit smugly on the sidelines while the women in your family sort through all the differences of opinion and conflict,
- understand that your silence means you are complicit with women being traumatized by other women, by relatives, by other people in their lives, and by the wider society.
This is just a short list. To my beautiful circle of strong women, feel free to jump in~!!
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Pegi Eyers is the author of Ancient Spirit Rising: Reclaiming Your Roots & Restoring Earth Community, an award-winning book that explores strategies for social justice, uncolonization, ethnocultural identity, building land-emergent community & resilience in times of massive change.
Available from Stone Circle Press or Amazon
Available from Stone Circle Press or Amazon
